There is so much to learn and unlearn from kids
- if we pay attention and pause
- if we empty our cups of knowledge to let their perspective in
- if we live in present and connect with them
and it can actually transform us.
From my experience, I strongly believe that
“ I am on a faster track of being my better self since the time I became a mother”.
The below incident made me, ponder this deeply and feel good for being on this journey
My daughter, Leela is in a phase where she likes to make cards and crafts. One day she made one craft and when I asked for whom, she gave the name of a friend. That friend according to Leela is very rude and shouts at her. My daughter a couple of times complained about this friend after coming back from her play that she doesn’t like this friend as she always shouts at her.
My typical mind quickly came to play, as I was rearing to hear some other friends’ names. Other friends who treat Leela well and play a lot with her, and with whom Leela also loves spending time.
I was thinking that by not giving a gift to them, she isn’t repaying the love they express, she should learn how to reciprocate, she can’t take people for granted, otherwise these friends might get hurt etc. This was a typical thinking of an adult whose mind has been conditioned.
So my this mind was trying to guide my daughter, whom I thought was a bit misguided. I was trying to refresh her mind with other names, as I thought she forgot. And some memorable incidents with these friends. But still, she didn’t budge to change. She still wanted to give the gift to the same friend. Then I had to remind her, “Leela, why do you want to give this gift to that friend?”, “ Remember you said, she shouts at you?”, “ Then why this gift to her?”, “ Why not to your other friends, whom you say you like playing with?”.
Listening to Leela’s reply, I shrank, Leela suddenly seemed a bit Gigantic.
“ Mamma, I know, and that’s exactly why I want to gift her this”. “Maybe after this, she will treat me well” .“ I want to gift her this and tell her, not to shout at me. To talk softly with me”.
I don’t know, if she replied this just to shut my constant questioning of her choice, or if she did give it that genuine thought or was speaking randomly.
But I knew then, that there was so much unlearning for me to experience in times ahead. That I need to let go of my old, narrow, typical mindset, to raise a child, who needs to thrive in this diverse World, which needs people who are kinder, who choose peace over revenge, who choose to let go.
Thank you, Leela. For reminding me that love any day is way more powerful, sustainable and healing than other emotions when it comes to nurturing, relationships or growth.