My learnings for choosing a playschool.

I stepped out to work, leaving Leela who was 20 months old now, at home with our caretaker Ratna like any other day. However, that day something got my attention. A hoarding of a new Play School that was going to come up, very close to our home. On my way back that day, I went to visit that place. It wasn’t ready yet the watchman informed me. He asked me to come back after 10 days.

After 10 days, I entered that place, and just looking at the huge open area and the ambiance I had some positive feeling. As one of the founders took me around to each room, I was feeling excited. The rooms were planned properly after good thought like the geography room had a huge wooden embossed map of India on the wall, the dining area had tiny wooden stools, a beautiful open-shelf library filled with books of many Indian kids’ authors in the hallway, a very big outdoor space which not only had a slide, sandpit but also had a big Mango tree under which kids could sit and stories could be narrated. Their curriculum was an amalgamation of best of all Worlds, from Montessori to Waldorf to Indian Value system to Kindergarten.

Like any mother, I aspired for Leela to have a happy and cheerful upbringing. I being away to Work, I felt Leela spending a few hours with kids of her age would bring more cheer than she spending the whole day with an adult caretaker. So I immediately enrolled her, purely based on the following reasons

• The physical infrastructure.
• The consideration that the founders were all Women and mothers themselves. They were being mindful of many aspects that I myself would have ignored when it comes to kids' safety.
• Them being the first-timers, I hoped there would be lesser kids. So that teachers could give greater attention to each kid.
• The fee though a bit high, was in the same range as any other existing branded play school in our locality.

I felt this playschool was getting ready just for my daughter. I felt it was like the universe heard me. With Manoj also being away in Germany, I felt this decision of me choosing such a nice, first playschool for Leela all by myself felt good. Like I took the right and best decision for her.

Leela too seemed quite happy and excited to go to this playschool. She would not even turn her head to wave bye to us when we drop her at the school gate. She would remove her shoes and go straight inside to join her friends.

However, the relationship with this School lasted only for a few months.

Though Leela had absolutely no issues with that school, we had a few things that needed to be discussed with the founder. Being busy at work, I didn’t take out time to talk to them at regular intervals of time. I had made a note and wanted to discuss it at one go. We had to make a decision about her next academic year. So I felt this would be a good time for me to share my concerns.

In fact, we had gone there making up our mind to put Leela in the same playschool for the coming academic year. Manoj was visiting India, so I felt it would be good for us to go together once and take stock of the last few months of Leela from teachers and to share my concerns. So the meeting went well till the time when we had to share a few concerns or suggestions we had. I felt a complete lack of empathy and humbleness in them. I can understand that not every suggestion of a parent can be incorporated, but I was expecting them to at least hear us out. The meeting went smooth outwardly, but my mind was disturbed. I was lost in some deep thoughts. Something didn’t seem right.

The reason I had to take my daughter out, was a feeling that these behaviors and attitudes of the founders(arrogance, apathy, lack of humbleness) will surely reflect in some way in the functioning of their playschool and somewhere would rub off on the kids. I didn’t like that feeling. Though it sounded very immature of me to take that decision then, in hindsight I am so glad I took that decision. Today, when I reflect I know clearly the reasons. The school subconsciously was not treating all kids equally, it was judgemental at these young toddlers, setting some kind of standards around the external beauty (their skin color, attire they wear, etc).

I didn’t have another school in mind but I chose to take my daughter out as I felt that was way better than going to such a school and of course because I was fortunate to have a good caretaker.

As luck would have it, just a few days later I overheard a mother speaking about the playschool she sends her daughter to. I was with my daughter in the play area when I heard her mentioning something greatly about a Montessori school. I immediately asked her, what’s so special about it. I informed her that even Leela’s previous school had a Montessori curriculum. She immediately asked if it was purely Montessori based? I said no, it was a lot more than just Montessori. She educated me a bit in the little time there was.

However, in my mind, I was listening to her skeptically. Wondering what’s such a big deal about being a Pure Montessori-based school. So I went back and did my research to clearly understand what each of these curriculums meant. Particularly about Waldorf or Montessori or Reggio Emilia's methods of teaching. This post is not about which of these is the best. I educated myself more deeply on why these methods are more successful than the usual kinder garden method. One point hit me really hard. Which is what this post is about. That all these methodologies are Child-centered where the Child is at the center of developing the curriculum and not the Teacher.

All these methodologies have quite a few similarities(Child-centred, multi-aged grouping, etc) and some differences(one lays emphasis on outdoors/ nature while one on work/projects, etc). So a parent can choose a particular playschool as per their individual needs and that of the kid.

However, what I really wish every parent chose is a Child driven curriculum than a teacher-driven curriculum, at least for the initial years like till they are 6 years old.

What does it mean?

If you notice any typical classroom of a kinder garden, it would be led by a teacher standing in front of the class. And all the kids in that class repeat what she does. It could be as simple as repeating a rhyme or dancing or counting or singing or painting. It seems all fun outwardly. Yet when you notice closely, a few kids in that group may not be actually participating or engaging in it. When each individual is unique, why would all the kids in a class prefer to sing at the same time? Why wouldn’t others desire to paint at that moment, why wouldn’t a few others want to listen to a story at that very moment?

Within a family when it comes to TV shows preferences vary from person to person. We notice that a father is interested in watching some sports match, while mother might want to catch up on political news, while grandmother wants to catch up on some spiritual talk show while grandfather might want to check out his daily serial. A brother might be interested in Peppa Pig while a sister might be keen about Paw Patrol.

Not just this, within a class or within the siblings, the likes and dislikes of children of the same age vary a lot in almost all aspects. Right from their favorite colors to subjects, they enjoy their favorite superhero to a music album, etc. So in a teacher-centric teaching methodology, we are not paying attention to these unique needs of our unique child. We are trying to make a replica of one standard piece. And live under the wrong assumption of creating some masterpiece out of each child.

However, I feel that through this process we are not even touching the surface of what true potential each kid has and how beautiful actually each of our kids could turn out into. Rather we are pushing them into unhealthy comparisons, competitions at much younger ages and turning them all into one kind of factory output ripping them of their unique talents.

Whereas in a Child-centered class, each kid decides for him/herself what they want to work with at that moment. They pick up the material of their choice and then the teacher assists them to encourage that curiosity. Each child in the class could choose a totally different material. One could choose to work with stacking up the Pink tower, while one might be interested in pouring water from one jar to another, while another might be keen to work with beads and numbers, while another might be interested in working with the World map jigsaw puzzle. Giving space to a child to learn at their space and their own interest makes it a lot conducive to their growth not only in terms of learning but also in terms of the impact it has on their confidence, decision making, independence, ability to think by themselves, etc.

Interestingly, along with Leela, her friend of the same age too was moved to this new playschool which was a Child-Led Montessori Based School. In earlier school, both were learning the same songs and doing the same activities. By the end of the day, both the kids would hand over very identical looking craft works of theirs. Whereas in the new school, each of them would pick a totally different material to work with. The teacher would update each of the parents independently about her observations about each of our children, which would be so unique. One of the kids was showing an inclination to math and logical work while another was showing an inclination to language, which we learned when we parents discussed it between us.

I feel if kids can get an opportunity to be in a playschool that is child-led at least till their 6 years, it would be a wonderful start to their childhood. A childhood not already pulled into a rat race of comparisons feels like a great foundation that every child deserves. A childhood where at least in the initial years the focus is fully on them and understanding of self. I know understanding about self could be a life long process, I feel I am still in that process. However, it need not be so for everyone. It at least can get better, if we at the early age of childhood don’t pollute/disturb their blank pages of mind that are intrinsically filled with curiosity, exploration, willingness to learn with our preconceived notions of what is good, best, saleable, appropriate, etc.

Leela is happy even in the new school. It is actually much smaller and simpler in comparison to the extravagant physical infrastructure the earlier playschool had. But I could see a huge change in her after I put her in this new school. For starters, she started slowly eating without TV. She had gotten into that habit around eight months back. And my number one priority was to get rid of that habit. Not just that, she would eat herself at least one meal a day by sitting at the table. For me, this was a big win, within the first two months of her stay with the new school.

One and half years later, today when I look back I feel so proud to see the developments in my daughter, thanks purely to this new playschool and their Montessori-based Child-led philosophy.

My learnings for choosing this new playschool.

1. The earlier playschool was teacher-led while the new one was child-led. Each child does their work at their pace and they decide what they want to work with. Each child is treated uniquely except for some Circle time activities etc where all the students perform some activities together. The teacher is a mere assistant or a guide who follows the child. Unlike the earlier school, where the teacher stands/sits in the center and all children need to follow his/her instructions.
2. In earlier playschool, kids were segregated purely by age, while in the new playschool, they have multi-aged grouping. Kids of 2.5 years — 6 years are put together. There are many benefits and deeper reasoning for this, so I would urge you to explore it further. However, would like to mention a few here. Children learn a lot from observing, so this enables a great opportunity for peer learning. The diversity this grouping brings also removes the unhealthy competition as same-aged kids inadvertently compare with each other’s milestones. Older kids at times act as mentors to the younger kids further boosting the older kids' confidence and attaining clarity. It also acts as a natural setup to inculcate a Growth Mindset. Watching younger kids, older kids learn the value of practice and hard work, while watching older kids, younger kids look forward to achieving their level of ability.
3. Earlier playschool would lay so much emphasis on outward experience and that the final output should look picture-perfect. A few of Leela’s craftworks that were sent back home looked somewhat like this.

And I assure you, every other child’s artwork would be more or less the same. The way I see our kids’ contribution in these is that they would have at the max, touched the brush, or held the colors. Rest all would have been the task of the teachers, as we parents are measuring the quality of teachers/ playschool based on these artworks at times.

The time that needed to be spent by our kids in exploration, doing by themselves, figuring it out, enjoying that sense of achievement at his/her pace is all overtaken to rush things up. By the end of the day, they need to exhibit an output to be able to catch up with a curriculum that has been designed by adults, hardly keeping the individual interests of the kids.

This is 1 week’s curriculum during the summer camp in the earlier play school

Whereas in the new school, there wouldn’t be any such extravagant craftwork. They would mostly engage in painting or coloring on simple white papers. During summers pottery classes, etc would be conducted to let them engage further with their hands.

But no kids' work gets interfered with by an adult to give that perfect finish. They don’t get rushed.

The new school teachers were not busy rushing these kids to do these kinds of artwork but were rather busy making daily deep observations about each of their students and share with us a detailed structured report every quarter. And a comprehensive report at the year-end. The report had different heads like practical life lessons, sensorial, fine motor, language, etc. And under each head, different aspects like her ability to remove her shoes and placing them in the rack to eating by herself to her ability to pour water from one jar to another to her ability to put beads into a thread, etc. Each was being noted by the teachers and recorded. Teachers here I felt were making much-needed observations about my daughter than the earlier one.

This is how Leela’s work at home during the same time used to look like when I let her play freely with colors and brushes

Aiming to give that perfect finish, somewhat seemed concerning to me which was one of my main trigger points to remove Leela from the earlier playschool. I felt what are we telling our kids indirectly, every work of theirs needs to have that level of excellence irrespective of the process you choose.

I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t have a good caretaker or found this new playschool. Maybe I would have put her back in the earlier playschool. However, that should change I believe.

We as parents firstly, need to get much more aware and conscious to deeply understand what our kids really need. And start demanding such higher standards from these schools and communities where we send our kids to.